One time, a guy asked if he could watch me play with myself as part of our foreplay and I was absolutely mortified. Lets talk about being embarrassed about sex and my story.
He wasn’t in the wrong to suggest that at all, but that was part of my sexuality that I most definitely was not comfortable with.
He’s just going to watch??
What if I make weird faces?
What if I make weird sounds??
What if I can’t get there???
What if it’s a total turnoff??
I was in full blown panic mode as these thoughts raced through my head. Needless to say, I rerouted the foreplay a bit.
But eventually, I had to work to reframe how I thought of self-pleasure, because it felt shameful, uncomfortable, and scary and I was tired of that bullshit.
I’m here to tell you, that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with self-pleasure. In fact, I encourage it. It is so important for connecting with yourself, your feminine energy, and with current or future partners ✨💋
If this is something that feels uncomfortable or “yucky” to you, that’s okay! It just means there is an opportunity here for you to make it fun and playful!!! And gives you the opportunity to practice doing so 😏
Here are a few tips that can help you:
🔥 Invest in a good toy that you LOVE. This can make things 10x more fun with yourself and with a partner. I loveeee @lelo_official toys
🔥 Set the mood! Light candles, diffuse some essential oils, take a hot bath, play music that makes you feel sexy
🔥 Get in your body – Dance, massage oil into your skin, treat yourself to a spa day – fully connect to your body
🔥 Treat yourself to some self care AFTER your play – This is just as important as setting the mood prior. Spend some time with yourself, meditate, stand in the mirror and say “I love you” over and over again to your naked body
Lastly, if you feel like you have discomfort around self pleasure, I encourage you to work with someone on this! You don’t deserve to feel shame or discomfort around this part of being human ✨🔥
Calee Shea is a Holistic Health Practioner based in Atlanta, Georgia. She is your go-to gal for all things periods, vaginal health, and sex.