Ready to amp up your O’s? Calee Shea, INHC, HHP, is talking about something you probably didn’t learn in sex ed: Edging.
Edging is when you get yourself close to reaching the big O, stop before you climax, take a small break, and then start again. This can repeat multiple times.
The point of edging? It can ultimately lead to a more intense orgasm
This is something you can do for yourself or can be done with a partner/s when engaging in consensual intimacy or sex.
Benefits of edging:
There’s no known risks of edging, although this may not be for everyone.
Hot, fun ways you can use to ask for consent around edging:
START HERE: If you’re wanting to do this with a partner – communicate! If you’ve never done edging with your current partner, ask if your partner is open to being teased, if they like edging, if this is something they’re open to exploring.
And then every time you’d like to do it moving forward, ask for consent first:
(Questions asked anonymously on the Get Cliterate Podcast Instagram page)
How long of a break?
Depends! Could be 30 seconds, could be a few minutes. But at least enough so that you come down from the “edge” so when you resume stimulation again you’re not on the brink of an O immediately and can build back up to it.
The point is to continue to build up to the finish over and over again until you finally “allow” it to happen.
There’s not a standard amount of time and it can vary with each break!
With a partner/s, this is a place where communication comes in to see where you or they are at to make sure you don’t resume stimulation too soon. If you have consent and a safe word, and you/ they are into teasing or power play, this is a good time to prolong each break, tease, beg, etc.
Who is edging for?
This can be for anyone and everyone who wants to explore it! In my opinion, edging is less about the O and more about how you’re getting there.
The tension, the lack of control, the communication, the patience – it can be fun and sex AND lead to a very intense finish.
It can also be a *part* of intimate time without being all of it. Meaning that if you’re someone who wants to finish multiple times during, you can mix this into that! Have an O, add in some edging, have an O, etc.
How can I talk about this to my “vanilla partner” without making them uncomfortable?
Bringing it up with curiosity and kindness and offerING to provide guidance – oftentimes if you’re asking your partner to do something new, they need clear directions.
Start with a question: “would you be open to X if i explained how I’d like us to do it?”
See where the convo goes from there!
How do I help a partner with a penis to edge? How do I support the process so we both enjoy it?
Communication!!! This can be SO hot.
If you have consent and both want to move forward…
Examples of ways to talk about it:
You can do this on top, you can do this while giving head, or you can use the “don’t cum I’m in charge and get to decide when you finish” when you’re in the more controlling position (such as on top).
Is it ever so distracting that you can’t finish?
That would be really frustrating to me.
It’s not for everyone and that’s okay! If you don’t like teasing, power play, giving up control, begging – it’s likely not something you’d enjoy!
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Calee Shea is a Holistic Health Practioner based in Atlanta, Georgia. She is your go-to gal for all things periods, vaginal health, and sex.